You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm like, not good at living.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
