Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
