My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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