Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
