Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
