I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize