Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize