Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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