You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
