Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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