You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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