Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
