I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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