I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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