I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We don't watch enough power rangers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
