I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
