member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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