i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
