Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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