I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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