Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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