A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
