I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
