but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
