The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
