just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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