last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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