im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
