Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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