i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
