I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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