you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
