So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
