we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize