Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
