I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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