we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
