What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
