I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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