Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
