I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
