just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
