My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
