I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
