Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
