and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
