Got a toothbrush?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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