I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
