Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize