My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
