All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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