i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
