When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
