Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
