I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
