The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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