i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize