I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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