What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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