Got a toothbrush?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
