think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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