I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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