all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
