You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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