The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
