i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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