You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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