I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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