I wish I could punch you in the face.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
