he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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