his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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