We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
