yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
