Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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