Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize