gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
